Saturday, 7 February 2015

Goodbye my lovers

Hi guys,

If you actually follow me to this day, then kudos to you. Thank you for being a dedicated follower, you're a better human than I. For all interested parties, and my 3 friends, I've relocated blogs and I'm hanging this bad boy up. It's not because I don't love you and appreciate you listening to my crap - it's more because I want to write about a different line of crap and start afresh. If you still care about me, come find me here

This will be my final post. Ever. EVER.

My new blog is called Wild Hormoans and if you like me, you'll like it. Fashion, TV, relationships and more. It's basically me shoving my opinions down your throat. Open wide.

I love you

Wednesday, 14 May 2014

Is he a Christian...?

"Is he a Christian?"
"No. He is a devil worshipper"
"Blood of Jesus!" her mother shrieked.
"Mummy. Yes, he is a Christian", she said.
"Then no problem", her mother said.

Today, I decided to start this post with a quote from a novel I'm reading. You may recognise it as an excerpt from Chimamanda's novel, Americanah. If you haven't yet read this novel, but are from a Nigerian or even African origin, you may recognise it anyway as a conversation you yourself have had with your mother/aunt/interfering family friend that has taken it upon themselves to become far too involved in your life.

*Aside* If you have indeed read the book, please no spoilers, as I am not quite finished.

When I first read this quote, I chuckled out to myself causing the people on my commute to glance up at me with raised brows. I ignored them and continued to chuckle as I assumed Chimamanda intended, but then I began to think. Why was this the first question Ifemelu's mother asked? Why is this the first question any of our mother's ask? Why did she so readily accept Ifemelu's prospect based solely on the fact that she was satisfied with his title of Christianity? Then I thought some more. I don't know about any of you, but it seems to me that our parent's generation made many mistakes when it came to choosing life partners and based their decision on some warped criteria of the 'ideal man'. Is he a Christian? Is he a lawyer? Is he a doctor? Is he tall?

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against tall, Christian lawyers/doctors. In fact, if you fit that description, then hit me up as I'm free this weekend and will probably be hungry. However, I've dated  Christians that were assholes. I've dated non-Christians that were assholes and I've dated a red bracelet toting guy that practiced BuddChristiKabbalianity or some such ambiguous faith that was also an asshole. So it seems to me the question should be, "my darling daughter, is he an asshole? and if so, dump him". 

I don't want to get too deep into my views on Christianity, but my point is that the title doesn't necessarily always reflect on the person. No title does. If you ask my father, he will tell you I'm a lawyer. My degree says that I am, my law school qualifications gave me a title that says I am, but when I go into work, it sure as shit isn't to a law firm and fundamentally, it is not what I do (thank heavens for that). 

We teach young girls to focus on titles, we say to them, you can date a man, but only if he's a doctor (ok,ok, I'll stop before I butcher Chimamanda's words) - I guess the point I'm making is that titles are not everything. Our parents were of this opinion and I honestly think that some of this errant thought has trickled into our generation too and methinks it should stop. I'm not saying you have to fall in love with a penniless poet, I'm just saying that we need to look beyond the obvious and ask better questions of our prospective partners beyond 'is he a Christian?'

That will be all. I think I've fulfilled my deep thinking quota for the day.

Friday, 14 February 2014

V-Day with Bae

Happy Valentine's Day all and please pay me no mind. I use the word 'bae' in jest only because it's simultaneously stupid yet amazing. Anyhoo - tis the day of romance and hearing how in love everyone is and I of course am no different. If you didn't know, I've been in a relationship for about 5-years now with the absolute love of my life and she's taking me out on a date tomorrow. I'm thinking we may do Chipotle as an homage to my favourite fake lezza couple (you either know or you don't) - regardless I will dress up for her like I do for no man.


Cropped top: ASOS
Leather pencil skirt: Zara
Shoes: New Look
Blazer: vintage


P.s. I see some twitterers mentioning crappy camera quality on blogs and I know this is true for me. But y'all don't pay my bills so let me be poor and blog. 

Many thanks
Monday, 10 February 2014

(Yesterday's) BOTD: Colours Ain't So Bad

Guys,  I've finally freed the braided bondage, so yesterday, I thought to myself, I'd get dolled up and grab lunch with my babes. However, because my life is never simple, after an hour of strolling in heels looking for the bloody brunch destination, I was fully ready to make a fire and roast the bitch over an open flame for suggesting a 'trendy spot'. In Brixton. 

We finally find the place but obviously in this here 2014, they don't take card - why not? Trying to salvage the day, we thought Satay bar would be a nice compromise...but they were closed. Why not? At this point, being the classy lady I am, I slipped off my heels and put on the flat shoes and told my babes that if she ever tried to suggest brunch, lunch or anything akin to it ever again, I'd punch her square in the throat. I don't know if you can tell but I get a TEENY bit grouchy when I'm peckish.

Anyway, we got food in the end. Let's not discuss what or how much I ate - you can all assume that I got a salad because I'm a delicate and waif-like creature. I didn't, but I'd like you all to assume so. Dietary woes aside, I tried to look a bit nice for my baby and I must say, I'd make a pretty darn good lezza girlfriend. Just as arm candy though as I'm not really into chicks.


I usually never wear colours but check me out being a rainbow:

Blazer: Zara
Pencil skirt: Asos
Shoes: Zara
Top: Can't remember - sue me

Throw on a blazer aaaand...

Done. Boom.

Despite the appearance, the skirt is actually a pencil skirt but I'm still taking these blasted pics on my laptop so no judgements yeah? Good chat.
Friday, 24 January 2014

Daring to Double Denim

I think that I've been like an activist against the wearing of double denim since the age of like 15 (I wasn't a very stylish kid), so when this outfit popped into my head, I was definitely fighting it. However, I think the reason that double denim causes such offence is that people where the same shade of denim and then look like they're in All Saints circa 1993 (or whenever). Anyhoo - it's Friday muh'fuhers and I am possibly the most excited I have ever been in life. Potentially some good news to share soon and if/when that happens, I swear't I'm buying everyone eDrinks. Which is code for I'm doing nothing for you but making it seem like I am.


Pretty much this entire outfit is from New Look so no need for a breakdown. Deuces yo'

Monday, 20 January 2014

OOTD: Tropical Monday

I really want to go away. Somewhere hot preferably as I'm not really a fan of this unearthly chill. Alas, the British weather is not a respecter of persons and as such I am perpetually freezing. However, as an ode to the tropics, I decided to dress like a floral arrangement and there is no shame in this. However, in other news, my pal from Houston is soon to be arriving in the country which means nothing other than boozy nights and hungover days. Have me in your thoughts and prayers.


Kept it casual today, but nonetheless, here are le outfit details:
1. Shoes - Topshop
2. Trousers - Primark
3. Top - H&M
4. Blazer - vintage and yes I wear it often. Sue me.

You know where my face is from so I won't bore you with that. Good day.

Thursday, 16 January 2014

OOTD: Check (Shirt) Me Out...

Because I'm a dedicated employee, I've decided to take the morning out to share my ensemble for today. If we all have a think about it, I've been hired as a writer so any time spent writing is technically me brushing up on my skills. Now that I've presented that clearly exculpatory reasoning, shall we move on? Good chat...

So most days at work, I dress like a hobo but since I work in offices that house everyone in the Daily Mail group, I feel like periodically, it's my duty to remind everyone that I stay slaying the outfit game. Or really that I'm like all the other girls. Not only that, I've branched out with some colour in the form of my new favourite blouse. It's checkered and if I were to describe it in one word, I do believe that word would be 'bomb'

Let me know if you agree - lies will be accepted. 


Outfit details:

1. Blouse: ASOS 
2. Jeans: Zara
3. Necklace & rings: H&M
4. Shoes: New Look
5: Face: The Almighty
Face and makeup because I'm a tad vain innit

The shirt in all its winged glory

Teamed with waxed leather-look jeans from Zara

Shoes from New Look

Add a white blazer and I'm out yo'