Thursday, 24 June 2010

I call him -The Modern Man...

I have long since been searching for a reason to implement my dislike of most members of the male gender into this 'almost fashion blog' and FINALLY the reason is here.

WARNING - IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO READ MY LENGTHY RANT, STOP NOW. ALSO IF YOU ARE A MAN AND YOU ARE LIKELY TO MOAN OR TRY TO YOU DEFEND YOUR GENDER, THEN STOP ALSO...OR CARRY ON BUT KNOW THAT I HAVE A WHOLE LOT OF OPINIONS ON YOUR GENDER AND CURRENTLY NOT A LOT OF RESTRAINT. THE END.

This morning, I had an extremely traumatic experience which really didn't have to end as it did but thanks to the gender I have now decided to differentiate as 'the modern man', it did. Let me share:

So this morning, I was minding my own business as I often do, making my way to work, wearing an outfit that consisted of my sheer black H&M top, my very cute, very multi coloured vintage skirt and the glue that held the entire piece together - my hat. Now at the evil Borough tube station, a sudden gust of wind came and went, taking with it my beautiful hat which consequently ended up in the train tracks.


Obviously, instinct took over and I leapt to go and retrieve my poor trilby when modern man no.1 decided to interfere and stop me in what he perceived to be an heroic feat. He informed me that 'the train station rules' forbid me from doing such a rash thing and that I should go and inform the station manager aka 'modern man no.2'

So I run to MM2 with my damsel in distress face and tears quickly a-forming [yes, I said tears - it's my hat, I'm allowed to cry]. MM2 turned out to be the singular most useless being I have ever met and decided to recite more 'train station rules', essentially telling me that I should come back tomorrow [at which point my hat would clearly be obliterated], whilst not trying very hard to conceal the look of utter disdain on his stupid face at the fact that I was upset about my hat. He claimed that there was no tong-like tool which he could have used to pluck my hat from the jaws of an imminent death - a tale which I knew for a fact to be utter crap!!!

I would like to take the opportunity to point out two things:
1) Had I told him that I had dropped my baby, I am so certain that he would not have asked me to come back after 1am [according to the train station rules of course]. Now before you all stone me, I am aware that a baby and a hat are of separate degrees of importance, HOWEVER, the point remains that the bloody rules can be bent, the bugger just thought my love of my hat was trivial.

2) It would have taken like 10 minutes of his time to pull out my hat but he was being incredibly judgemental and supremely L.A.Z.Y. In the biblical times, men fought lions and bears, whilst here, the modern man is afraid of a little electricity. PFFFFT! I spit on the lapels of his rules and upon my return tomorrow, I will take the time to share my very lengthy opinions on his life.

Rant over. This is what I wore today...minus the hat! Which was last seen here...

Sorry, I am not actually wearing the clothes but I had no one to take the pictures soooo it was a bit of a DIY effort...



Now if you are feeling sympathy for me [which btw you should as I seem to keep suffering traumatic losses - like my blackberry] then the hat was from ASOS [and yes I know I  have stated a dislike for ASOS but the hat was a gift and it was pretty] so feel free to buy me a replacement...or a bowler hat...much like this one [also from ASOS- dammit!!] xoxo


6 comments:

The strange name that eventually makes sense. said...

me cyaaaaaant believe it. thought it was the straw hat! thought it could be replaced. no wonder. all makes sense now :(

R said...

looooool!

I mean how heartless!!! Hope u geta hat soon!

Tola said...

lol....I can't believe you were really going to jump in after it!! trust me, it's a lot steeper than it looks from above and many a person as died because they misjudged it!! But you're right, dude was wigging. They totally have those tong like thingies, all stations do!

Nicola said...

I KNOW!! got it back though...thanks for all the concern!! It was a different man though..it ruined my 'you are a modern man' speech because MM2 wasn't there..but at least i got my hat back...train tracks, charcoal and all..

chidie4lyfe said...

Wow! such a sad story, must have loved the hat. MM2(which btw was funny as hell) must have had a bad day already. It's obvious they have those tong-like things, what if it was a car key, a wallet or something of such importance. Happy ending tho!

Nicola said...

lol. happy ending indeed. I really could have slapped MM2. He was just a goat. tired koh, weary ni

Post a Comment