Monday, 6 September 2010

Je Nais Comprend Pas...

Every time I go to a country, I try and learn how to say the basic phrases:
  • Where are the shops?
  • Where is the food?
  • Where is the toilet?
  • How much is...?
and most importantly, I DON'T UNDERSTAND!
I have realised that there are many a baffling things in this life and so I strongly believe that this is a vital phrase.

Right now, I don't understand why my beautiful new silk blouse with its awesome buttons refuses to cage my nungas effectively. I mean I bought it in SIZE BLOODY 16 thinking 'ooh yeah how loose and cool will that look?' only to head out to the streets and realise that the only cool thing was the breeze that was blowing directly unto my currently exposed bosoms....

soooo apparently now i have size 18 nungas. awesome. only minus the awesome part.

Also Ich verstehe nicht why I have 30+ dresses sitting in my wardrobe, an unspeakable number of blouses/cardigans/blazers/skirts and yet every morning I battle with myself over what to wear. I am thinking it has everything to do with the fact that I need a walk in wardrobe and also a feeeew more items of clothing and accessories so I can effectively mix and match. 
Some do not agree with my theory, but hey different strokes eh?


Je nais bloody comprend pas why lay men like you and I can study for hours on end and enter into these careers and make only a limited amount of money, whilst celebrities like Joaquin bloody Phoenix [the once brilliant actor of Gladiator] are allowed to do things like growing abominable snow man type facial hair, claim he wants to be a hip hop rapper when he is absent of the actual rapping talent and then come out a years later to release movies about his 'tumultuous quest for a hip hop career' 

but he is going to make actual cash money for this and yet here I am thinking about how to pay my rent...

If I sat down and recorded a movie about my tumultuous quest for a training contract, how many of you think that it would that come out in the cinema though?? 

More importantly how many of you would go out and watch it? 
SURE it doesn't have crazy action/sex but who wouldn't get thrills from watching me sitting at a laptop applying for jobs??....


Bah humbug!!

i thought the samurai sword would spice things up a little...


Tola said...

Kò yé mi why some women squeeze themselves into body con dresses just so they can look like the michelin man!

Nicola said...

LOL!! I take it that this is the yoruba version of 'I don't understand'???

I LOVE IT and I am incorporating it into my daily vocab as we speak!!

Dee O. said...

LMAO!!! You are HILARIOUS!!!, I have the same problem though! My boobs don't seem to fit in most blouses I buy anymore or I force them in there and they look like they are going to make the buttons pop clean off lol! But that is a lovely blouse, hopefully you get to wear it as you like! And I totally agree with you on Joaqin Phoenix...that ish just didn't make any type of sense to me at all! And I also cosign about haveing like 560 dresses and 1346 cardigans yet struggling over what to wear every single day!!! I hate it lol (and i don't literally have that many dresses or cardigans which i'm sure you figured already lol)

and lmao @Tola, I couldn't agree with you more!!! This tomfoolery needs to stop immediately! I don't know who sent out a mass email to every female saying that it's ok for all of us to wear body con dresses because it most CERTAINLY is not! Dang, my comment is so long, sorry bout that girl! I love going off on tangents :)

Be sure to check out my latest post!

Nicola said...

long comments are totally welcome. I like reading what folk have to say. feel free to follow my blog and spread the blogging love :)

Lulu Omoaghe said...

Nice piece Nicola!

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