Friday, 23 March 2012

Apparently, I'm into lipstick

Hey guys!!

If you'd asked me before, I wouldn't have said I was into make up - ESPECIALLY lipstick. In fact, I remember a time when my lip coating of choice was my ever trusty tube of Carmex.

But, when I tried to justify buying yet another tube of red lipstick to my bestie by telling her it was 'a vampy red' as opposed to a 'deep red', I realised that if a third party could hear me, they may consider me to have a problem. In my humble opinion, there was indeed a difference betwixt those two shades of red, but that is neither hither nor thither.

Long story short, I did what any reasonable person would do and bought an ORANGE lipstick instead. 

If that doesn't prove that I am healthy and entirely rational, then I don't know what does tbh...


 Yeah, I honestly couldn't hack my hair in that 'up do' - so I whipped out the hair pins and shook out my mane [hence the erm...tousled look..]
I really need to dash now though. 

I hate rushing blog posts, but this is what I have been reduced to. Plus I really gotta pee. Too much info?

Tuesday, 20 March 2012

The Rude Awakening

Hi Guys!!

Recently, two people have made comments regarding my weight. First was a guy who told me that I was one of 'those lucky people who don't have to work out to maintain their figure' and the second was on twitter as someone exclaimed that they'd be obese if they ate as I did. 

I thought about these comments and for a hot second, I allowed it to get to my head until, I reacquainted with my digital scales and they told me the truth. I won't divulge actual figures because then the shame would take me but I will say that 6 months ago, I was 10lbs lighter soooo...go figure...

*major sigh* - no one knows my struggles.

I am obviously health personified so my dietary regime is generally as follows: I eat like a pig [because I LOVE FOOD] and then I diet like a crazed person until I have semi abs and then I get comfortable and the cycle continues. Psychiatrists in some circles would say that I am one binge cycle away from 'an eating disorder' but that is such a harsh phrase. I prefer to think of it as a love/hate relationship with food.

Anyhoo, this wasn't a cry for help or a subtle request for compliments, I am quite aware of my body shape but I am just sharing etc...moving swiftly on to my outfit.

So, today is the first day of Spring and after my little stint with the scales, I obviously chose the most figure hugging maxi dress that I owned. The thing about figure hugging clothes is that they tend to hug ALL of your figure; both good and bad. But whatev!

close up: bit of a tie dye affair

honestly, next post, I PROMISE my fingers will be down. Don't know where I picked it up from...?
 The only silver lining with all this weight gain, is that my bottom FINALLY grew [just a little though] and we all know that I have a slight complex about my arse [or lack thereof]
 it is SLIGHTLY weird that I have papped my derriere for your viewing pleasure but I am rather happy with this development. Don't judge me.

The bad news, is that my boobs grew too. Is there no way to target you weight gain to just one choice area??

 Finally, a silly picture just so you all don't take this post too seriously and start wondering about my psychological well being etc...

Kisses with tongue!!

p.s. the other awful thing about skin tight maxis is that they restrict your movement severely. Hence the reason I missed my train trying to run daintily.
Friday, 16 March 2012

The headscarf - saving bad hair days since 1806

I may have mentioned on twitter yesterday that I was having an ugly day and it resulted in me wearing crypt keeper like clothing. Now as much as I love wearing black, I looked like I was in mourning and that is obv not cute. To make matters worse, the sun totally came out to play, so I had to spend the day listening to people prattle on about how glorious the London weather was, whilst I was wearing full on night combat wear. Nicht zu cool yo'

Half way through the day, I realised the reason for my ugly day was DEFO my hair. Once it has reached it's sell by date, I honestly cannot function. But, today, I was determined not to be under dressed or gloomy and so I donned my 'go go gadget headscarf' and revolved my entire outfit around the scarf and this is what I came up with....
 Now, I am not a violent soul, but if the sun doesn't respect my decision today, I will jab someone in the eye with a rusty fork. Cheers.
 Not altogether certain why my 'deuces' are up everywhere but erm they are so...yeah...

my gangster pose. ungh <

Tuesday, 13 March 2012

You know you're a bad blogger when...

Someone on twitter has to remind you it's time to post again...

I am SO sorry guys, I have had a few projects on the go and thus neglected the blogosphere. But it's not for lack of caring I promise you that. I have merely busied myself with both of my jobs [I also work for Kiss FM for those of y'all that don't know] so I my weekends have been equally as jam packed as the weekdays.

Anyhoo, now that my tales of woe are done, I can tell you that for all my complaints, I have to be grateful that I don't work in a corporate environment because I don't think that world is entirely ready for my office wear. I have realised that I need a place with lax rules as I am the queen of inappropriate clothing and thus I am oft found with loud colours or items of a sheer nature. Oopsies.

This has only gotten worse ever since I purchased my body and alas, my boobs have no respect for social decorum soooo apologies in advance...

Recently, I have abandoned my blazers and fallen back into the clutches of my leather jacket. I am going to show you two outfits; one from last Friday [and repeated again on Sunday - so sue me] and the other, is on my person as I type]

Ok...Outfit 1: Sheer maxi skirt - ASOS
               Black Body - eBay
                   Leather Jacket - Vintage
               Green skinny belt - Primark
               Necklace  - Forever21
 Initially, when I got dressed that morning, I honestly thought this outfit was fine. It was only upon entering the office and hearing one of the guys exclaim and turn an interesting shade of pink that I realised that perhaps, I should save this bad boy for the weekends....
 I love this necklace but I totes broke it that same day so fiddlesticks

 Yup, that's right, I wore a sheer skirt so I was REALLY appropriate.
 Outfit 2: Red maxi skirt - Vintage
Yellow vest top - primark
Black and Gold belt - Vintage
Leather Jacket - Vintage

I was fooled into wearing this outfit because I thought the sun may pop out again. Obv, the London weather is not a respecter of persons and now, my timbers are thoroughly shivered...and not in the good way. Grand.

 Over the weekend, one of my colleagues and friends from Kiss FM took pity on me as I'd left my rings at home and my fingers felt naked, so she gave me this amazing ring that opens up like a little treasure chest. Totes amazing.

She also happens to be a slamming photographer, so check out her shizzle right hurr

Anyhoo, I must dash. Apparently, when one is at work, you actually have to 'do stuff' - offensive really.