Wednesday, 14 May 2014

Is he a Christian...?

"Is he a Christian?"
"No. He is a devil worshipper"
"Blood of Jesus!" her mother shrieked.
"Mummy. Yes, he is a Christian", she said.
"Then no problem", her mother said.

Today, I decided to start this post with a quote from a novel I'm reading. You may recognise it as an excerpt from Chimamanda's novel, Americanah. If you haven't yet read this novel, but are from a Nigerian or even African origin, you may recognise it anyway as a conversation you yourself have had with your mother/aunt/interfering family friend that has taken it upon themselves to become far too involved in your life.

*Aside* If you have indeed read the book, please no spoilers, as I am not quite finished.

When I first read this quote, I chuckled out to myself causing the people on my commute to glance up at me with raised brows. I ignored them and continued to chuckle as I assumed Chimamanda intended, but then I began to think. Why was this the first question Ifemelu's mother asked? Why is this the first question any of our mother's ask? Why did she so readily accept Ifemelu's prospect based solely on the fact that she was satisfied with his title of Christianity? Then I thought some more. I don't know about any of you, but it seems to me that our parent's generation made many mistakes when it came to choosing life partners and based their decision on some warped criteria of the 'ideal man'. Is he a Christian? Is he a lawyer? Is he a doctor? Is he tall?

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against tall, Christian lawyers/doctors. In fact, if you fit that description, then hit me up as I'm free this weekend and will probably be hungry. However, I've dated  Christians that were assholes. I've dated non-Christians that were assholes and I've dated a red bracelet toting guy that practiced BuddChristiKabbalianity or some such ambiguous faith that was also an asshole. So it seems to me the question should be, "my darling daughter, is he an asshole? and if so, dump him". 

I don't want to get too deep into my views on Christianity, but my point is that the title doesn't necessarily always reflect on the person. No title does. If you ask my father, he will tell you I'm a lawyer. My degree says that I am, my law school qualifications gave me a title that says I am, but when I go into work, it sure as shit isn't to a law firm and fundamentally, it is not what I do (thank heavens for that). 

We teach young girls to focus on titles, we say to them, you can date a man, but only if he's a doctor (ok,ok, I'll stop before I butcher Chimamanda's words) - I guess the point I'm making is that titles are not everything. Our parents were of this opinion and I honestly think that some of this errant thought has trickled into our generation too and methinks it should stop. I'm not saying you have to fall in love with a penniless poet, I'm just saying that we need to look beyond the obvious and ask better questions of our prospective partners beyond 'is he a Christian?'

That will be all. I think I've fulfilled my deep thinking quota for the day.

Friday, 14 February 2014

V-Day with Bae

Happy Valentine's Day all and please pay me no mind. I use the word 'bae' in jest only because it's simultaneously stupid yet amazing. Anyhoo - tis the day of romance and hearing how in love everyone is and I of course am no different. If you didn't know, I've been in a relationship for about 5-years now with the absolute love of my life and she's taking me out on a date tomorrow. I'm thinking we may do Chipotle as an homage to my favourite fake lezza couple (you either know or you don't) - regardless I will dress up for her like I do for no man.


Cropped top: ASOS
Leather pencil skirt: Zara
Shoes: New Look
Blazer: vintage


P.s. I see some twitterers mentioning crappy camera quality on blogs and I know this is true for me. But y'all don't pay my bills so let me be poor and blog. 

Many thanks
Monday, 10 February 2014

(Yesterday's) BOTD: Colours Ain't So Bad

Guys,  I've finally freed the braided bondage, so yesterday, I thought to myself, I'd get dolled up and grab lunch with my babes. However, because my life is never simple, after an hour of strolling in heels looking for the bloody brunch destination, I was fully ready to make a fire and roast the bitch over an open flame for suggesting a 'trendy spot'. In Brixton. 

We finally find the place but obviously in this here 2014, they don't take card - why not? Trying to salvage the day, we thought Satay bar would be a nice compromise...but they were closed. Why not? At this point, being the classy lady I am, I slipped off my heels and put on the flat shoes and told my babes that if she ever tried to suggest brunch, lunch or anything akin to it ever again, I'd punch her square in the throat. I don't know if you can tell but I get a TEENY bit grouchy when I'm peckish.

Anyway, we got food in the end. Let's not discuss what or how much I ate - you can all assume that I got a salad because I'm a delicate and waif-like creature. I didn't, but I'd like you all to assume so. Dietary woes aside, I tried to look a bit nice for my baby and I must say, I'd make a pretty darn good lezza girlfriend. Just as arm candy though as I'm not really into chicks.


I usually never wear colours but check me out being a rainbow:

Blazer: Zara
Pencil skirt: Asos
Shoes: Zara
Top: Can't remember - sue me

Throw on a blazer aaaand...

Done. Boom.

Despite the appearance, the skirt is actually a pencil skirt but I'm still taking these blasted pics on my laptop so no judgements yeah? Good chat.
Friday, 24 January 2014

Daring to Double Denim

I think that I've been like an activist against the wearing of double denim since the age of like 15 (I wasn't a very stylish kid), so when this outfit popped into my head, I was definitely fighting it. However, I think the reason that double denim causes such offence is that people where the same shade of denim and then look like they're in All Saints circa 1993 (or whenever). Anyhoo - it's Friday muh'fuhers and I am possibly the most excited I have ever been in life. Potentially some good news to share soon and if/when that happens, I swear't I'm buying everyone eDrinks. Which is code for I'm doing nothing for you but making it seem like I am.


Pretty much this entire outfit is from New Look so no need for a breakdown. Deuces yo'

Monday, 20 January 2014

OOTD: Tropical Monday

I really want to go away. Somewhere hot preferably as I'm not really a fan of this unearthly chill. Alas, the British weather is not a respecter of persons and as such I am perpetually freezing. However, as an ode to the tropics, I decided to dress like a floral arrangement and there is no shame in this. However, in other news, my pal from Houston is soon to be arriving in the country which means nothing other than boozy nights and hungover days. Have me in your thoughts and prayers.


Kept it casual today, but nonetheless, here are le outfit details:
1. Shoes - Topshop
2. Trousers - Primark
3. Top - H&M
4. Blazer - vintage and yes I wear it often. Sue me.

You know where my face is from so I won't bore you with that. Good day.

Thursday, 16 January 2014

OOTD: Check (Shirt) Me Out...

Because I'm a dedicated employee, I've decided to take the morning out to share my ensemble for today. If we all have a think about it, I've been hired as a writer so any time spent writing is technically me brushing up on my skills. Now that I've presented that clearly exculpatory reasoning, shall we move on? Good chat...

So most days at work, I dress like a hobo but since I work in offices that house everyone in the Daily Mail group, I feel like periodically, it's my duty to remind everyone that I stay slaying the outfit game. Or really that I'm like all the other girls. Not only that, I've branched out with some colour in the form of my new favourite blouse. It's checkered and if I were to describe it in one word, I do believe that word would be 'bomb'

Let me know if you agree - lies will be accepted. 


Outfit details:

1. Blouse: ASOS 
2. Jeans: Zara
3. Necklace & rings: H&M
4. Shoes: New Look
5: Face: The Almighty
Face and makeup because I'm a tad vain innit

The shirt in all its winged glory

Teamed with waxed leather-look jeans from Zara

Shoes from New Look

Add a white blazer and I'm out yo' 

Tuesday, 14 January 2014

Don't You Wish Your Best Friend Was Dope Like Me?

The answer to this question my friends is yes, yes you do.

As you should know, it was my OTL's birthday a few days ago and because I'm clearly in love with her/think she deserves pretty things, I got her a pair of red bottoms. Hate on haters.

The night was delightful and filled with mirth , mead (wine) and mad folk. She obviously dressed up like Princess Jasmine because she is a knob head and thinks she's too naaaaaiiiiccceee (nice), but truth be told she looked beautiful. Also, just to clarify, I'm not actually into girls and we aren't a lesbian couple - I feel that gets confusing every once in a while.

Ok, apparently I have a job to do today so look and some pictures and be content. 

I MAY have tried them on just so my feet could feel some joy. Is that so wrong?


wardrobe malfunction. awks.

Wednesday, 8 January 2014

The Other Woman: A Grey Area?

So, I've just finished watching Being Mary Jane and whilst I don't think it's on the same level as other thought-provoking dramas (think anything by Shonda Rhimes), I must say that I thoroughly enjoy it and not just because Gabrielle Union dresses impeccably. In terms of issues that it does bring up, I'd like to take a second to talk about the concept of the other woman and how of late, many a TV show tell the tale from her point of view and perhaps highlight the possibility that adultery is not so black and white an issue.

Before you all start to stone me, I'd like to say that I'm of the base opinion that cheating is wrong, however, I've always said (and I stand by this) that the fault is primarily on the adulterous partner; the party that made the promise to remain faithful and not on 'the other woman'. By all means, she ought to feel guilt, she ought to want more for herself than to be someone's second choice, but should she be the object of hatred? I think that depends on the circumstances. Perhaps if she set her sights on ruining a union, then yes - go right ahead, paint a scarlet letter on her forehead and call it a day. However, much like the scenario in Being Mary Jane, I sympathize with her just a smidgen and I think it's possible to catch feelings for the wrong person and find yourself in a situation where you know you ought to back the hell away and do the right thing, but may already be in too deep. Cutting people off is easier said than done especially if said person is filling your head with declarations of love. However, Mary Jane needs to stop shagging the babes lest she lets the D clouds her judgement and she confuses lust for love.

Also - as an aside, does anyone else think that the show draws a parallel betwixt Mary Jane and Gabrielle Union with the whole Dwyane Wade thing or am I just reaching? Ho hum - whatever the case may be, I love it and will be watching next week. Join me.

Friday, 3 January 2014

Let's Make Up: Barry M

For all those of you that follow me on Twitter, a couple of days ago, I asked for some suggestions for a matte, hot pink lipstick shade that wasn't M.A.C (mostly because I am broke until payday) so I could take a break from my classic red lip. A grand total of three folk came to my rescue and suggested the following:

1. Jen suggested Sleek - Mystic
2. Henessy suggested Barry M - Shade 52 'Shocking Pink' and...
3. Dollfaced R3bel suggested Wet 'n Wild - Dollhouse Pink

Simply based on proximity to my office (the one I found first), I went with no.2 and...

A close up of the complete look

...and the verdict is...

For added perfection, my top matches the shade. All in a day's work.

Thursday, 2 January 2014

O Ye of Little Faith: Leather & Lace

I know some of you thought I was going to do one post and disappear into the ether again, however, I'm here to dispel the slanderous rumours somewhat accurate impression that I'm dead and gone with yet another outfit post. IN YO' FACE! Or just erm thank you for sticking with me etc...

Ok, to the outfit. Something about braids makes me want to funk up my attire and alas for the working world, today is my first day back to work, so not only have I gone from a weave to braids (which I LOVE by the way), I've also gone from moderately appropriate clothing to entirely not giving a crap and embracing the way my braids make me feel, so I'm thinking that everyone is going to be slightly perturbed by my ensembles. Today, I'm feeling like my 'Hammer Time' leather trousers, crop top and head band. Who's with me?
Ignore Billy the belly, he's just saying hi.

Close up of my necklace. Cute no?
I'm obviously not wearing sunglasses to work, I just felt like wearing them for some of the pictures. Sue me. 
This is the actual length of the top so it's not sooo bad
This is how I will actually look before God and man. I've sacked off eye makeup so I can wear my red lipstick and ease my colleagues into the return of my insanity.

The bottle in this picture is my new vanilla scent that my mum bought me from Dubai. I personally thinks she's been sold vanilla essence from Tesco in a fancy bottle, but I'm a sucker for pretty bottles and I've been known to rub vanilla essence on myself before so who am I to complain?

Anyhoo, to reiterate once more. I'm back bitches. In other words, please don't leave me. I'm needy.
Wednesday, 1 January 2014

2014. BOTD. XO

In the spirit of new beginnings, I decided to start 2014 off with an actual outfit post (blurry but present so don't complain) because I haven't done one of those for a hot minute year. Before I make it all about the clothes, I'd like to take a second to say thank you to anyone who still reads this blog - I have failed you as a blogger but I am sooo back! Also, my entire motto for 2014, is via Chimamanda - I. Will. Not. Shrink. Myself. So expect me in my truest and raw-est (a real word) form. God bless.


So last night, a dear pal invited me to his house for a house warming/NYE party and I decided to keep it casual, sexy, cool with high-waisted jeans and a body, but obviously, I didn't get the memo because everyone else was dressed up and looking bloody hot! Ah well, I still looked good if I do say so myself...until about 8 drinks in. Then I looked erm...mature. Yep. That's the word we were all looking for.

close up of my new fave necklace - breasts not included

Team with a blazer y'all have never seen before!

Close up of the BEAUTIFUL contrast lapels

Me heading off still sober.

Then errrrm...the alcohol happened and my hair came down. 

The rest as they say is history. Shout out to the bestest pal a gal could ask for. She is the funniest person I know of and we deserve actual cash monies for the laughs we give the world. May this year bring us more laughter and fundamentally more money to fund our lavish dream lifestyles.

If anyone is still a respecter of this blog, please don't give up on me. I promise to continue slapping on copious amounts of red lipstick, involuntarily pouting and making you laugh with the hilarity that is my life. Much love to you all and happy New Year!